The GOP, guided by nationally-respected CEOs, has devised a 20-point plan (below) to turn NIH into a for-profit enterprise in reaction to Sequestration.
- $1,000 service fee per grant application.
- Destination fee: Applicant’s proposal is guaranteed to be assigned to requested study section. $5,000.
- Extra “baggage” fee to those whose previous grants were triaged to make those outcomes unviewable by reviewers of their new proposal: $1,000 per outcome
- Optional 30-min. video proposal rather than written grant proposal: $10,000.
- For-proifit NIH swag e-store on Commons website*. E.g. NIH sweatshirt $99.95. NIH mug, $27.95.
- First-class upgrade for “coach” grant proposals, lowers percentile score up to 3%, $10,000 per 1%.
- Third time’s the charm option: allows A2 revision. $25,000
- Blue state institutions get 10% less overhead.
- Late fee (late grant still accepted): $5,000 per day late, up to 5 days.
- Expediting fee: $5,000 to get review results within 1 month; otherwise now takes 6 months
- Bonus pubs charge: $1,700 for each additional pub listed on biosketch above 15.
- $10,000 bump fee: allows applicant to remove 1 study section member from reviewing their grant.
- New NIH VISA Card, 1% cash back, $1,000 annual fee, can be used for the new grant charges described here or at Subway.
- Typo forgiveness, $5,000. Screens grants for typos and common grammatical errors prior to study section.
- Even-odd grant review. Grants from zipcodes that are even numbers are reviewed one year and those with odd zipcodes are reviewed the next.
- Color figure fee: $1,000 per color figure in grant
- Page charge, $1,000 per page beyond 8 pages.
- Phone-a-friend at NIH program. $5,000 for 30 rollover minutes chat time & $10,000 for unlimited texts with PO.
- NIH Grant Tips Apps for iPhone and Android, free-ish, in game charges apply.
- Avoid open-access fee. To keep proposal confidential and keep it from going on the Internet, $10,000.
*note, we take PayPal or new NIH Visa card.
Paul,
Don’t forget the Classic Restocking Fee.
For those grants denied, NIH will give them a second look. $10,000 fee.
Which fees are waved if the specific aims of a proposal are to provide definitive proof that evolution is false and the intelligent designer is true? Or to provide evidence that global warming does not exist?